It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this blog, which is not what I wanted to happen. Living in the middle of nowhere with shit internet access is really taking it’s toll on all of my technological hobbies. Sad face.
I missed all of the opportunities while I was pregnant to write about this journey, but my boy is finally here and it’s time that I write about it.
When I was around 32 – 33 weeks pregnant, we were told that my baby was breech. Meaning that he was head up and nowhere near my birth canal. I had roughly 7 to 8 weeks to try to get him to flip, but I just couldn’t. Finally, my doctor recommended that we try External Cephalic Version, which is a procedure in which the doctor tries to flip the fetus/baby from outside of the womb. No luck with that. He got stuck half way and just wouldn’t flip because he didn’t have enough room. I remember crying while my baby’s father held me in the hospital room after my doctor had left after the unsuccessful procedure. This meant that my chances of getting a cesarean where higher.
Weeks passed and my son still hadn’t flipped, lo and behold I was scheduled for a C-section. It took a long time for me to accept the fact that I wasn’t bringing my son into the world the way that I had initially wanted. Honestly, knowing the exact hour that he’d be making his appearance into the world was more unnerving than calming. Knowing that I was going to be sliced open stressed me out.
January 30th was the date that was given to me, coincidentally it’s also our dog’s birthday. The night before surgery, my boyfriend surprised me with a king suite in a nearby hotel. I took a relaxing bubble bath the night before, but even the most comfortable bed that I’ve probably ever had the privilege of laying in didn’t help me get any sleep. I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM. Running on only 4-5 hours of sleep, we left to go get ready to welcome Asher into the word.
When we arrived, the nurse gave me a gown and a ridiculous amount of sterilization pads to wipe myself down with. Once I was done, I was told to lay in the bed as they hooked me up to an IV, which took the nurse at least 4 minutes of digging to find a vein. Knowing what was coming was the worst part. My anxiety started to kick in and I couldn’t get comfy in the bed. My belly started itching because of all the alcohol that it was wiped down with. I actually ended up scratching my belly so hard that I made myself bleed. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, after the nurse came and said “it’s time,” everything moved at what seemed to be hyperspeed.
We all walked down to the OR (operating room), which was freezing cold. Micah, my boyfriend, had to wait before he was allowed into the room. As soon as they walked me in, they made me sit on the table. My L&D nurse came and comforted me as the anesthesiologist stuck me in the back with the spinal block, which was more of a weird feeling rather than pain. My toes started to go numb and I actually wasn’t even able to get onto the table myself — I had to be lifted.
Finally after they had the catheter in and everything in place, Micah was able to join me. He stayed right by my head the whole time, holding my hand and stroking my hair. It was all such a surreal feeling. The ceiling was reflective, but luckily the giant light above me blocked what was happening to me from my view. However, I was still able to see what tools they were grabbing.
After only a few minutes of cutting and rigorous tugging, we heard a small cry. My eyes immediately filled with tears as my boyfriend looked at me and said: “Do you hear that? That’s our baby — That’s our son.” I couldn’t stop crying and it’s a feeling of bliss that I will never forget. Nine months of carrying him, getting cut open, it was all worth it. I noticed that he only cried a few times. When the doctors pulled him out, he started crying before they could get him all of the way out. Meaning that he inhaled more amniotic fluid that was already in his lungs.
Thanks to the ceiling, I was able to see them take my newborn baby boy over to the warmer and attempt to get him to cry. I was able to see his full head of hair through it. They brought him over to me and put him on my chest. I wasn’t able to fully see his face, but I knew that he was the most beautiful little boy in the world. My time with him and his father was cut short as they took him to the infirmary in order to get more fluid out of his lungs and clean him up.
After I was stitched up, I was wheeled to the recovery room where I sat for about an hour. One of the side effects of the spinal block is severe shaking, which I could not stop for the life of me. I actually had to be held down by a nurse and my boyfriend just to get an accurate blood pressure reading because I was shaking so bad.
Even though recovery has been a long road and I still have a long way to go, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My boy is happy and healthy and I honestly have forgotten all of the pain that I endured the first week of his life in order to bring him into the world. I may make a separate post about how hard recovery was, but for now, I’ll leave this as my labor and delivery story.
Asher Laine Hicks arrived at 7:49 AM on January 30th, 2017. Weighing 7lbs and 12 oz, measuring 20.5 inches of pure perfection. I love you, my son.